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Separation Anxiety and Sleep


5 tips to help your baby cope with separation anxiety


Separation anxiety can be really tough on babies. Having you with them 24/7 for most of their life is their safe place. So it is only natural that they start to notice when you are not there and may worry that you will never return.


Separation anxiety usually starts from 8 months old and peaks at certain developmental stages, around 12 months, 18 months and 2 years of age.


It can be extremely exhausting when your baby suddenly wants to be constantly attached to you throughout the day, cries when you put them down and gets inconsolable when you leave the room. It is even more distressing when you finally get them sleeping through the night only for the anxiety to start waking them up.


So what can you do to avoid reinforcing separation anxiety and get sleep back on track??

Here are 5 tips that can be applied during the day and at night:

 

1. Don't sneak away

I know you are probably trying to avoid tears but it is very important for your baby to see you leave especially at bedtime. If they see you walk away calmly and confidently then it will allow them to realize that there is nothing to worry about and will increase their trust in you and reduce anxiety.


2. Practice Peek-a-boo

Regularly playing the game of peek-a-boo can make a BIG difference in separation anxiety especially for younger babies. Around 8 months old, babies start to understand the concept of object permanence which means that something still exists even if it cannot be seen and this is usually the age when separation anxiety starts. So, playing this game allows them to learn that you are still there even if you are hiding behind a cloth. For older babies, try to play a game where you briefly pop out of the room and then jump back in to surprise them. This helps them learn that when you leave, you will always come back and makes them feel secure.


3. Keep goodbyes short and sweet

When your baby gets upset by goodbyes, it can be very tempting to stick around to see if they will calm down. This usually prolongs the separation anxiety and can makes them more upset. The best way to say your goodbye is a quick hug, kiss and some reassuring words then leave the room and allow them time to calm down.


4. Be conscious of your emotions

Try to stay calm and confident. If you are rushing around feeling stressed and anxious, your child will pick up on these emotions and will struggle to relax and fall asleep. Bedtimes can be stressful when your little one is upset, so if you need a minute to breathe then put your baby down safely in their cot and give yourself some space to regroup before coming back in to tackle bedtime.


5. Have a solid plan

Have a clear plan to get back on track after separation anxiety settles. If you have already sleep trained your baby, then you shouldn't have to redo everything from the beginning. You can provide some support initially but aim to get back to where you were quickly and avoid overcompensating or playing any new roles.


I hope these tips will help you cope with your little ones separation anxiety and you can get back to a good night's sleep soon. . If you are still struggling with your baby's sleep and would like a more personalized guidance on how to get it under control, please review my packages and contact me so we can work together to get sleep sorted in your home.


Onyi (CozySleeps)

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